Lea Rabbitt

I spent the first 25 years of my life believing I was not really human. I built up a persona of what I thought a human was and wore it every day. My energy went towards improving this persona and simultaneously trying to "fix" my differences, many of which I could not describe. I was constantly trying to escape my authentic self. It was not until I was 25 that I was diagnosed with Autism. I made this collage long before I was ever diagnosed, in an attempt to describe my relationship to the world - and the lack of relationship I felt with myself - which were the result of fighting against the essence of who I am.

I’m autistic, and everyday environments often feel like an attack on my nervous system. Painting is a way to focus my attention on one thing, helping my brain to process information. Focusing on small aspects of nature, such as watching an ant carrying its food or searching for a four leaf clover, also helps me in the same way.

Corrosive Conformity
Paper collage • 8 x 10 • $42

Idiosyncratic Focus
Watercolor • NFS